Alone Time in Vanlife
Yoga Retreat- Ojai, CA
Alone Time in Vanlife
Living on the road in a van means that I am with another person 24/7.
I didn’t anticipate how much that would effect me. I didn’t realize how much I need time to myself. I did feel nudges to remind me of this along the way.
These nudges felt like:
an annoyance when my morning routine was disturbed.
the desire just to walk away and sit or walk by myself.
an urge to lose myself in a good book.
like I wanted to disappear.
If I didn’t listen to these messages, I would be short, frustrated, crabby and insensitive.
Without any alone time, I felt: overstimulated, restless, resentful, anxious, smothered, depleted.
I didn’t want to care for others because I wasn’t caring for myself. I couldn’t give any more or I would find myself resentful that others were only taking and not giving. When the truth of it is, I wasn’t giving… to myself.
This affected not just me but other people and my relationships. It made me not want to make new friends or connect with people around me. It made me not want to go places with other people. It made me only want to go places alone. It created tension in my relationship with Marcy. This all created a great disconnect- with others and with life.
The paradox is that our purpose of traveling in our van has been to connect and discover.
Something needed to be done.
The big lesson learned is to make time to have alone time each day. Uninterrupted.
How do we do this?
Well… it is a work in progress.
Our struggles: Marcy and I both have a lot of FOMO so we plan to do things together a lot. We don’t want to miss out on what the other person is doing. But are we?
If each of us is having alone time, we aren’t missing out. We both are doing it. The problem is that my alone time is in the morning and Marcy is still sleeping. So she doesn’t get this time. Another struggle is the needs of the dogs. I can’t tell them to leave me alone as they have needs that I need to meet as a dog mom. The limited space in a van makes it hard to be apart especially when it is cold or rainy outside. Also when we have to get on the road early to go somewhere, we each have to be a part of getting ready to roll. These are all logistical challenges we have- that we can work through.
What is a solution? After we came home this last trip, I went to a conference and a yoga retreat by myself- to give to my mind, body and spirit. It was just what I needed. Also, Marcy took a solo van trip to see family and friends. These periods of separation felt so good. Did I miss having Marcy there? Absolutely. It feels good to have comfort and love. Thankfully dogs fit that bill as well! Still, I loved having my own schedule and not having to coordinate with another human. I loved eating what I wanted when I wanted. I loved the peace and quiet. I loved having no commentary or judgement of what I am doing. I loved playing my own music and choosing when to be quiet. I loved not giving to others and just giving to myself.
I think in order for it to feel like a gift I needed to be intentional about it. I didn’t want to just go through the motions. So I did things to nurture me. I cooked the meals I love. I completed tasks that were nagging at me and causing anxiety. I exercised every day and rested when I needed to. I had quality one on one time with my dog Lucca (minus her brother Riggins.) I saw the friends and family members that I wanted. I kept the house clean and created an environment that felt chaos-free. These intentional actions are things that are important to me that I sometimes compromise. I didn’t want to compromise myself.
I wanted to give to myself so I could give to others.
In order to maintain connection, I needed to connect within.
I needed to adventure in to adventure on!
